Its the last day of 2007, and a year has passed by.

Cheesy I know.

Never understood the rationale behind people talking about their new year's resolution, because at least for me, either I will never do bother to keep them, or I will forget that I actually have set targets for the new year.

Yada.


As i was surfing the net just now, namely facebook * sheepish grin*, I chanced upon Ms Cheng's profile.

She's getting married, no, make that she got married, and she's moving to holland, with her husband, of course.

It seemed like yesterday when she walked into our class, seemed like yesterday when she gave us her first lecture, and called my name during lecture.

And yet, if u do the math, its been 4 years.

4 years since we started our jc lives.

I never thought that I would miss my jc life, esp with my longer-than-usual stay in school.

But the fact is I do.

I miss the crap that we have in class,

the stoning sessions,

the consultations,

Miss Kon's anger with us if we cant contribute,

Mr Lim's constant jokes

and even Mr Gay.

And all of a sudden,

with year 2008 pressing near,

reality starts setting in.

We are all no longer young,

turning 21,

with no excuses for our stupid, silly behaviour.

We term ppl who are 16, 17 xiao mei meis and xiao di dis,

and yet,

it wasnt really that long ago when we were all like that.

And with the sudden realization,

I realise,

that I dont really know what I want out of my life.

I'm in school because I need a degree,

studying a course that I have no idea where it would bring me,

aiming just to survive year after year, and to graduate,

maybe get married and try to be satisfied with this life of mine.

I like to stay in my own comfort zone, my safe little haven.

Yet, as cheesy and cliche as it may seem,

perhaps the only permanent thing in our lives is change,

just like how ms cheng is leaving,

just like how we always manage to adapt when we change schools,

just like how we will eventually get used to the fact that some people leave us.





As childish as I may sound,

I wish that things will stay the same,

and maybe its just me,

I'm feeling melancholic.

My first entry after my exams ended.

Somehow,I seem to have lost track of time,

I dont even know what date it is anymore.

Havent done anything much,

been sleeping,

sleeping

and sleeping.

And I'm still at harry potter book 1 after um near to 5 days.

Yes huiting go ahead and laugh,

though you will not be in Sg to read this.

Went Plaza Sing yest,

which kinda reminds me,

I was at PS, but i didnt walk out 2 see the lightings.

AGAIN.

Yest was like my 3rd time in town for the week and I still havent gotten a glimpse of how the lightings look like.

Watched Stardust,

not as bad as i imagined it to be,

much much much better than beowulf which I caught with my tut group.

I think Beowulf is a narcissist.

After he slays a monster,

he shouts

" I AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMM BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWUUUUUUUUUUULFFFFFFFFFFFFFF"

in that super garang position.

Like wth.

and why did grendel become the king's son

and since when did the dragon become beowulf's son.

and why didnt the grendel's mom die?

BAH

Anyway,

went cafe cartel for lunch,

and by golly *haha* i saw alot of people.

Kintuan, Weekim, Kuan Rei,

Yeoyang

and last but not least

MR LIM

in the same restaurant la.

So coincidental,

and his son is super cute.

I want a baby too.

If only I was an amoeba,

then can self reproduce.

=(

















And..

my condolences to the 5 singaporeans who drowned in cambodia.

I'm so tired of being here,

supressed by all my childish fears.

3 papers down, 1 more to go.

I know I know,

I really ought to feel happy,

but

I dont know why I'm not.

The papers were fine, with the exception of econs, hoping tad they will moderate, since majority didnt know hw to do the first question.

I was happy

until reality started to sink in,

and I have tons of assignments sitting in the HSS office, waiting to be collected.

Cowardice I guess.

Absolutely demoralizing that I seem to be the only person who isnt performing as well,

at least in my own clique?

I dont know,

Sometimes it just feels that I already have tried my best,

but i am still getting Bs.

And it feels that people who dont try as hard,

who dont work as hard

are getting the As.

Call it talent,

perhaps they realli are good in it.

Maybe Im just not cut for this course?

It always happens,

my efforts are not reflected in my grades.

I think,

I'm just not smart enough.

I am so screwed.

SO SCREWED SO SCREWED SO SCREWED

THAT I AM GOING CRAZY.

Spent so much time doing econs, and Im nt even done with it, which is making me panic.

And so i try 2 save time by scanning through,

which makes me insecure.

Either way Im screwed, whether or not I try to read in detail.

ARGH

And because I have been reading so much on econs,

I havent even done my 102 AT ALL,

which is like bad,

cos its on fri, and my papers on wed end at 730PM, which means i will reach home at god noes wad time.

WHY DO I NOT OWN A PLANE?

WHYWHYWHY.

I wish i could teleport home.

I think

maybe i should juz aim to graduate rite?

with or w/o honours,

or 2nd lower and 3rd class.

DUNNO LA.

I am so DEAD.

MAY WED NEVER COME.

NEVER NEVER NEVERRRRRRRRRRRRR

Me wants to go shopping.

Dropped by at tm today, so many new shops!

Theres this new shop at CS selling really pretty and cheap dresses.

And most importantly...

they are long enough!

Heh

Itching to buy it now....

Just realised that exams are exactly a week away,

havent even studied can.

Still rushing out my portfolio,

think i will crap.

BAH

suddenly I find TM so interesting...

and oh oh oh

M)phosis is setting up a new branch at tampines.

MUAHAHAHAHHAHA

I feel so blessed.

I know I know..

I will try not to go shopping before my exams end.

will TRY.

So many things 2 do after exams...

this is bad

I havent even started studying,

and Im thinking what I can do after this.

Oh tried peppermint mocha frap today.

NICE

but I like green tea latte more.

Ok study study

-toodles-

My apologies

to my um 3 readers,

that my blog is always angsty, depressed and emotional.

And yes,

I am going to blog abt sch work again.

ARGH

I have no idea hw to start the essay

because i dont understand

the STUPID FILM

and the STUPID QN

and although my tutor did try to explain the quote to us

but but but

i think its wrong

BAH

I dont really trust him la

since all he does is to talk abt porn

SADDED

BAHHHH

-crashes my head against the wall-

believe it or not

this is the first time in my entire 20 years of my life

tad i haf ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA

wad the qn is talking about

ARGH.


anyways

went to mph bookfair yesterday.

and yes, im guilty of spending money again,

when I have tons of books untouched

and not to mention my extremely expensive

NORTON ANTHOLOGY.



bah


i am an angsty girl now.